Cock Robin cider

Looks lovely, but a bit girly don't you think? Ian B at the beer festival again!

A recipe for Cock-a-leekie

It contains leeks. It doesn't contain cocks.

Cock shaped pasta

These meat and two veg resembling pasta shapes have come to us via Cocking Colleague Nicki who received them as a gift from a work colleague who had recently been on holiday to Italy.

Apparently, when you bring them to the boil, they swell up quite a lot; but when you pop them in your mouth, they go all floppy and shrivel up.

Tapioca cocktail anyone?

Does anyone else remember when the force feeding of tapioca was reserved for the torture of small children partaking of school dinners? Well, now you can buy it in Marks and Spencer, disguised as a packet of crisps that tastes unlike any prawn or indeed any cocktail that I have ever seen. And they try and make out this is a good thing!

French wine shelf

Another fine example of gallic cocking from Tim's recent holiday to Le Francaise. Decorate your wine shelves with some cock - what better way to attract custom back from the Crafty Eastend Cockney Wine and Spirits Warehouse and outlet in Calais!

Seafood cocktail

What could be more wholesome and nutritious than a bit of cock in your sandwiches. Make sure you chew it properly before you swallow Tim!

The ultimate prawn cocktail snack

Buy your grub from the Spar shop - obviously it will be top quality gear and cheap into the bargain.

A liitle cock wine perhaps?

Cock on an egg cup

There is a promise that this star piece of crockery from Tim's very own kitchen will be making a series of appearances in coming weeks - keep your eyes peeled to see what eggscapades it gets up to..............

Breakfast cock

No info on the whereabouts of this Cockerel perched on your breakfast. We'll try and find out and get back to you.

Walkers crisps

And hey presto, Britain's least imaginative man goes for broke and submits the most boring entry ever. Pathetic, your cocking colleagues deride your futile efforts little man.

Prawn cocktail melt in the mouth snacks

In some ways, this one would have almost not been worth getting; but Timmy being a top quality cocking connoisseur did exactly the right thing - walked straight past the good quality Seabrooks and Walkers crisps and captured the genuine "Happy Shopper" quality, additive strewn poison from the corner shop down the road. Top marks - the monthly prize might be yours yet if you keep this up!

Poppycock

A jar of cockles

Cockburn's port - red and white!

A valiant first entry from new cocking colleague - although the Winky Song on "thingsnotcalledcock" came from Mandy as well. Try and get your next one in focus dear!

Cock-a-leekie soup